19-year-old student refuses to give up bedroom after divorcing older sister moves in to their parent's house with 5-year-old and 3-year-old: 'I need my own space'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Mar 27, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

Living with family members as as adult can often be an awkward situation, not least if it is something that you are not doing out of choice. While some can make it work and even enjoy being around their close relatives, many others quickly realize that it gives ample opportunity for old hierarchies and exploitative circumstances to arise.

It leaves a dilemma for those who cohabitate with family. While most people want to help if they are going through a difficult time, that doesn't necessarily mean that every demand needs to be given into. In fact, it's often a necessity to stand your ground if you want to maintain your sanity. 

The only issue is if the family in question is not willing to accept this. It's common for this to be the case, and it can easily make a tense dynamic even more strained unless there is a change in mindset.

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  • One teenager found herself struggling with this issue after her older sister and her two young children moved back in with her and their parents while going through a divorce. Their parents' house was small, and the sister was sharing a room with her children as a result.

    This led to her parents requesting their younger child vacate her room for her niece and nephew, instead sleeping in the office or on the couch. She refused, reasoning that as a college student, she needed her space to relax and study. The family wasn't happy, and she wondered if she was being too selfish. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10486868736
    via Andrej Lišakov (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for refusing to give up my bedroom for my niece and nephew?

    I (19F) still live at home with my parents while I attend college. I pay for my own tuition and contribute to household expenses when I can, but since my school is local, living at home saves me a ton of money. Recently, my older sister (27F) and her two kids (5M & 3F) moved back in after her divorce. She's struggling financially, and my parents are letting her stay here rent-free until she gets back on her feet. I get that it's a tough situation, and I've been helping out with the kids when I c
    via HellenMiller_2007
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    The issue is that my parents want me to give up my bedroom so my sister's kids can have their own space. We have a small house, and my sister is already taking the guest room, so the kids are currently sleeping with her. My parents think it would be better for them to have their own room and are asking me to move to the couch or "make do" by squeezing into their office space.
    via HellenMiller_2007
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    I said no. I've lived here my whole life, and this is still my home. I need my own space, especially since I have a heavy college workload. I don't see why I should be the one to sacrifice my room when this situation isn't my fault. My sister is upset, saying her kids are uncomfortable, and my parents are disappointed in me for "not being more understanding." Now the whole house is tense, and I'm wondering if I'm being selfish. AITA?
    via HellenMiller_2007
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    Commenters believed that the young woman had done the right thing, and some offered alternative solutions.

    helican NTA. Couldn't your parents move to the couch and office and give up their bedroom?
    via helican
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    Hellen Miller_2007 OP Hahaha I will present them this option
    via HellenMiller_2007
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    Sea-Ad3724 Or tell them you'll stop contributing to the finances if you have to give up your room. Or your sister could move into their office/couch and let her kids have the guest room to themselves.
    via Sea-Ad3274
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    Sneaky_Fox85 NTA - No one's stopping your sister from taking the couch and giving her kids the guest room. They are HER responsibility after all. No one is stopping your parents from taking the couch and giving the kids THEIR bedroom. There's 2 options that don't involve forcing you out of your bedroom. What's stopping THEM from sacrificing? Oh right, it'd be an inconvenience, and it's easier to inconvenience others rather than suffer themselves.
    via Sneaky__Fox85
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    OhmsWay-71 NTA. HI no is right. Do not give up your space. It leaves you with none and you need something private living with all these people. Stay calm and logical, and don't get emotional or loud. People stop listening when you get loud. Say something like...
    via OhmsWay-71
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    "I have a great deal of empathy for the tight space that you guys are in. Please understand that I only have my room and I need the space to study, and to have a spec of privacy. I fully support you being here, but 3 extra people in the house has already been a big adjustment. It simply isn't fair to ask me to essentially give up having any space. I do not just use my room for sleeping. It is where I do everything. I suggest that we convert the living room into more of a bedroom/community room.
    via OhmsWay-71
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    Aylauria Good script. But Idk why the kids can't move into the office. Parents should move some stuff out of it. NTA
    via Aylauria
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    Calyptra_thalictri NTA Between you and your sister, it seems like she should be the one to take the couch or office space if her kids are uncomfortable sharing a room with her. Is there any chance this is your parents trying to nudge you out of the house so that they can focus on getting your sister and her kids back on their feet?
    via Calyptra_thalictri
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    Lucy_Nell NTA. You are going to school, you need a room to work and to refresh. Your sister can give her room to her kids and go to sleep in the sofa. She's the one needing to put her sh_together for her family. Or you parents can give up their room if giving a room to the kids is that important. Why do you need to be the one doing the sacrifice?
    via Lucy_Nell
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    lawfox32 Sister should do it. She and her kids are all living there rent free. OP is a much younger adult living there rent free but contributing to household expenses. Each adult child living there rent free gets one bedroom. The adult child with her own children can figure out herself how to use that one bedroom and the other available space. They're her kids; if her kids are uncomfortable, she should give them the bedroom and sleep on the couch or in the office.
    via lawfox32
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    ATXBored25 IF You are working, going to school, and contributing to household expenses, then no. You are a part of the household and do your part. Now your sister and her kids deserve some sympathy, but kids that young will not feel uncomfortable without a room. Make it a special sleep over in the living room for them. They just do not need the space like you do for rest, school work, and decent sleep.
    via ATXBored25
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    TemptingPenguin369 NTA. You know who should "make do" by squeezing in somewhere? The person who arrived with two children. You're a college student and you need your room for studying.
    via TemptingPenguin369
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    StAlvis NTA My parents think it would be better for them to have their own room They should be telling the failed parent that. move to the couch or "make do" by squeezing into their office space. So she has options!
    via StAlvis
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    Relative_Vast_4453 NTA- your sister should sleep in the office space.
    via Relative_Vast_4453
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    Discount_Mithral NTA. You are contributing financially to the house while paying your own way through college - your parents agreed to let three additional bodies move into an already full space. Your sister presumably also grew up in that house, so knew that there were three bedrooms - two of which were occupied. Either she makes do with three people in her room or finds a way to compensate you for the loss of a room. Actually, f that. Why can't two kids squeeze into the office? It would probab
    via Discount_Mithral
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    Plenty Associate5101 Tell them sure I'll sleep on the couch rent free and without contributing just like my 27 year old sister. Tell them I will no longer help with the kids and everyone has to be out of your new bedroom by 5pm and in there rooms quiet so you can study. I mean I'm all seriousness why isn't your sister giving up the guest room and sleeping on the couch so her kids can have the bedroom. I mean she's the one not bringing anything but neediness to the home. Your family s ks!!!
    via Plenty_Associate5101
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    Leourana NTA - Why isn't your sister making due? squeezing into the office space and give HER room to HER kids.
    via Leourana
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    3bag Wouldn't it be easier to 'squeeze' small children into the office space? ΝΤΑ
    via 3bag
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    Neat-Substance-9274 Bunk beds in the office. If the office would work for you then it will work for the kids. Finding those beds used will not be a problem.
    via Neat-Substance-9274

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family drama aita kids house divorce family bedroom sister reddit thread Reddit college student parents
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